- “I know how you can get out of doing that speech…”
In 1987 (the year of the Porsche) I was the general manager of an in-home sales company in Phoenix, Arizona. We would hire salespeople through what is known as “cattle calls”: we’d run a newspaper ad to instruct everyone interested in the job to show up on Mondays at noon. My job was to stand up in front of these prospective salespeople and pitch them on how they could make a bunch of money selling our product in people’s homes. Speaking in front of a group of people was not difficult for me. I was driving a nice car, making some money and feeling pretty good.
Well, as sometimes happens, I fell into a slump and my sales suddenly dropped off. It seemed like I couldn’t sell a dollar for 50 cents. My boss was saying stuff like “I’d make more money by firing you”. My confidence was at an all time low.
Them we hired a kid named Jimmy. The first day out in the sales field, “Top Jimmy” sold three out of three appointments. He was confident and a smooth talker. Everyone loved Jimmy, while I was feeling like last year’s model. To add insult to injury, within a few weeks he replaced me as general manager because of his stellar sales preformance.
It was now his job to stand in front of a room filled with job hunters and give them the good news. He declined, and asked for a few more weeks to perfect his talk. I continued to do the “opportunity speech” for him, but I noticed that Jimmy was in no hurry to get up and do it. I thought that was strange…
One day when I was sheduled to do the speech, I came in to the office with a bad attitude because my sales were so dismal. The boss took a look at me and said “Moreno, there’s no way you’re going out in front of those people. Jimmy, get out there and do your stuff.” From the look on Jimmy’s face, I could see my suspicions were confirmed: Top Jimmy was having some anxiety about speaking in public.
Jimmy went out there in front of those 50 or so people and began the spiel. He started to stutter. He began to sweat profusely. His face was white. Then he just stopped, and I saw him go from being Top Jimmy to Top Ramen. He looked over to me desperately and said “Ted, why don’t you take over…” He stepped down and I stepped up, both literally and figuratively. Jimmy never really recovered from the blow to his confidence. His sales fell and it wasn’t long before he quit. My sales went back up and I regained my place as general manager.
It’s been said that fear of public speaking is a fear worse than death for some people. Although I’m not sure how many people who would rather take a bullet than be made to speak in public, it’s a fact that many folks consider speaking in front of a group on par with a root canal on the list of their favorite activities. The sad part about Jimmy’s plight was that even though I had no training as a coach or hypnotherapist at the time, had he asked, I probably could’ve helped him.
Nobody is born a good public speaker. As with all fears, anxiety about public speaking is learned, and what is learned can be unlearned. When someone says “I’m not a good speaker” all they are really saying is “I haven’t developed the skills to be an effective speaker.” Becoming comfortable in front of a group is a skill you can learn.
Chances are that you’ll be called upon to speak to a group at some point in your life. In today’s business environment, you will almost certainly be required to give reports or presentations to colleagues or clients. If so, consider learning to speak in public as necessary part of your personal and professional development.
If you are someone who gets the fight or flight response (sweaty palms, rapid heartbeat, shallow breathing, inability to think clearly) when asked to speak to a group, the good news is that you can learn to overcome the fear response and do a decent job. It doesn’t have to be stressful. Many people who were once terrified to speak in public have gone on to become very good speakers. Here are some other things to remember:
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You don’t have to be a master orator in order to be effective. You just need to be yourself. Don’t try to be or think of yourself as a “public speaker”.
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The audience is on your side, wanting you to succeed.
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The chances of you loudly passing gas, fainting, throwing up, totally forgetting what you were going to say or the audience throwing stuff at you rarely happens and if it does, you can probably make a joke out of it.
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You don’t need to memorize a lot of information or even impart a lot of information. That’s what notes and handouts are for.
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It’s ok to feel a little nervous, that’s natural. You can learn to be ok with a little.
Of course, there are different levels of anxiety and fear when it comes to speaking to groups of people. On one end of the spectrum, you might be challenged by social anxiety disorder to the point where even talking to someone one on one is a problem. On the other end, you may feel fear or nervousness that makes the prospect of speaking just another stressful thing in your life. Either way, if you need some help, give me a call. Here are a few tips that you might find helpful the next time someone says “Get out there and do your stuff.”
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Practice but don’t over- prepare. Have an outline for what you are going to say. Put your notes on 3×5 index cards that are numbered in order. Practice saying the words out loud. Practice in front of someone you trust that can give you some feedback. Record yourself to see what vocal tics you might want to work with. Practice in front of a mirror.
- Don’t be boring. The worst sin you can commit as a speaker is making people wish they were somewhere else. Although there are many situations where one may need to speak, try to craft your message to your audience so that what you tell them has some impact on them.
- Humor is good. People want to laugh, and when they do, you’ll feel a lot more comfortable. Just use common sense to avoid offending your audience.
- Humility is good. Don’t try to come across as an expert if you aren’t. Even if you are, remember, people don’t care how much you know unless they know how much you care. (I love that one.)
- Make sure you eat something. Diet and your level of anxiety are intimately related. Don’t go in front of a group on an empty stomach or over-caffenated.
- Monitor the conversation in your head so that it supports you. It doesn’t help to say things like “I just know I’m going to screw this up.” or “I hate this”. Be realistic in your expectations and show this in your language to yourself. “I can do this, it’s only ten minutes.” or “This is a great opportunity to show my stuff.”
My job is not to teach you how to become an effective speaker, but to help you manage or let go of the fear and anxiety that you might have. There’s a lot of material out there that can teach you to be a good public speaker including books, DVDs and audio programs. Toastmasters is the most well known and respected venue for people to hone their skills, and I highly recommend that you check out your local chapter. Check out Barbara Rocha’s programs as well. If public speaking is scary to you, come to believe that you can decline Mr. Reapers offer and learn to be comfortable whenever you’re called upon to “show your stuff.”
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TMan
Ted A. Moreno Certified Hypnotherapist Anxiety, Fears and Phobia Specialist www.TedMoreno.com
Posted by Ted Moreno 
